i'm over college dorming

nothin'wrong with it, i love it love my roommates love the community meetin new people on the daily &great experience yadada
but fuck i miss home too much. homesickness, pls. go away :(

i fuckin miss my bestfriends

<< ridge's departure, tears fallllin down our faces :(

this is the last week of summer, fuck went by so faaast! college officially starts next week, i move outta my casa and moves in my apt with 3 diffferent girls that I never met in my liiiife, not like highschool with copying, cheating, and mine and ridgey's retarded asses always asking michael for help, no comfort zones, no asb class to relax in or to chill when we all ditch class, no michael&ridge in 99% of my classes next to em always talking never paying attention, or always givin me thaangs I missed which was like 95% of HS, never doing homework and or anything for that matters but came outtta HS with a fuckin 3.6gpa, no going off campus to get lunch tryna sneak giant ass ridge in the trunk, nomore free lollicups, bww every damn tuesday, not having my own parking with my name my own designs and shit that don't need to be on parking block, nomore setting up games dances &rallies, and nomore stupidass highschool bullshit! not gonlie i'm scared shitless. i think i'm actuallly missing highschool, well not reallly just the people i actually cared for. errthang's going by so fast! we're all growing up, departing and going our own ways, it's reallly depressing me. never hit me like this even at graduation but why now? why tonight? maybe because it's my orientation tomorrow early morning. i should really be sleeeping but why can't i? my mind is too filled with many things that i don't know what to feel.. but one thing i know forsure is that i need me some of MY gayboyslovin! (:

michael, i'm sorrrry i've been so caught up in my own life that i haven't even stepped a foot in your new apartment, i'll make it up to yaaa and callll it selfish i dgaf but we need Ridge here way more than newjersey does :((( newjersey better be ready for me and mickey to come up there hm winterbreak? yessssssssssplease!

andddddddddd now as the noble09ers start college, i wish goodluck to everyone. kill in college just like we madddaefffing killled at nogales. best class, you know it!!! i can't wait for our 10year reunion and see/hear everyone's success. i miss you all! always be safe, go to class, be on time, and don't do stupid asss shieeet :)

as for me, i think i have a good enough mind set and matured enough to success in college. hopefullly cos of that, i am ready for college. if that even made sense. i'll go through it like i go through everything, day by day. i know mosdef that it won't be easy, but there is always help if i'm not too stubborn to ask. at this point of my life, i am super excited filled with fear. idk what else, i guess we'll have to see!
note to self: do not hesitate to ask for help.

already 3am? and i neeed to be at CSUN before 8am &it supposedly doesn't end til 6pm. what thaaaa hails are we gonna do for 10hours? and the drive to CSUN is alrdy getting annoying cos of traffffic. i hate 101 freeway! so needa leave my house super eaarly, ugh i already know it's gonna be a looong ass day tomorrow but don't get me wrong i'm sorta excited for it but i'm just wayyy more excited to get boilingcrab after it with michael, his boy?, my boyfriend, and whoever else. pray it ends early (:


ps. wow, blogging just lifted 10lbs off my chest <3

babylove;

-I want to be there to bless you after every sneeze
-Have my firsts and all my last withyouu
-Going to Church with me, never thought I'd find that
-You marvel up my strength
-Always getting along with family, just the way I always imagined
-Makin my past and to now, not even comparable
-You soothe me more than when I close my eyes to feel the breeze
-Kisses that takes my breath away
-I'm sorry for disrespecting you, to me you're a delicacy
-So addicting, but can't find you in any pharmacy
-Always letting me be, don't change yourself
-Defines perfect in my dictionary
-ALL, as wellll
-Holds me when I need it, gives me space when I want it; know I'll do the same for you
-Never had anybody to open the door for me
-Sitttin on your lap allday errday, not around parentals ofcourse (:
-Making me laugh no doubt, makin me cry only to realize I love you more
-Fights, arguments, bickering to show our selfishness of just wantin each other
-Perfect make up moments, laughing how cute we are when we fight
-Crazy down for errrthang, my partner in crime
-My face slapper, reality check baby bitch typa love
-More comfortable around each other than ikea's futons! lame, i know
-My arm rest to always lean on
-Driver cause my ass is always sleeepy
-Always spoiling me
-All that I want and will ever want/need

Chad Michael Papa, my bestfriend and my boyfriend, I love everything about us. With the many changes in life happening, wouldn't want anything between us to change. I love you baby, please be mine forever.